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With U.S. Government Protection, Droves of Evil Mystery Birds Invade Georgia County

The medias are aflutter today with word that the fine folks of Lee County (about 150 miles south of Atlanta) are under siege. Their oppressors are reported to be "black turkey vultures," which is strange, because no such bird exists. There are black vultures, and there are turkey vultures, but we cannot locate a bird species called "black turkey vulture." Perhaps the AJC and the ABC are privy to some kind of secret aviary database? But we digress. The birds loiter on Lee County rooftops and use cars as toilets when they're not out hunting people's pets, and authorities are precluded from stopping them because they're federally protected. Though the carrion-eating birds would prefer to be viewed as a vital part of the food chain and appreciated for cleaning up dead things, they can't seem to shake their image as property-damaging harbingers of death. Rest assured we'll be tracking the story of Obama's zombie birds as it develops.

· Hundreds of vultures take over Georgia neighborhood [Atlanta Business Chronicle]
· Black turkey vultures invade neighborhood [AJC]