One would think having $2 to $3 million to spend on a house to be a one-way ticket into style and class. And indeed, there are many homes out there in that price range that deliver that very thing. But of course we all know that money can't buy taste, and this 12,000 square foot Italianate villa on Garmon Road (which looks like it should be in Naples, Florida) and its hideous mish-mash of an interior is a perfectly illustrative example. There's just so much here that seems deeply wrong...where to start? We've never commissioned a marble sculpture (we're not, after all, the Catholic church). Apparently these home owners haven't either, as it looks like they visited a papal yard sale in acquiring the pink marble fireplace shown in one of the rooms that seems better suited to a theme park modeled on Dante's Purgatory, or Jim and Tammy Faye's house circa 1985. The carpet on the grand staircase (which itself is a bit much) offends in generous quantities there, then re-appears in the billiards room, which looks like a yet-to-remodeled Dave & Buster's. Other grotesque dalliances in the ornate characterize most every room in the house. The kitchen is probably the room least in need of work, but it's far too small an island of calm in this sea of hideousness to have any redemptive value. Not sure how close to the $2,749,000 list price the Sellers will get, but someone will have a lot of work to do. Or not.
· 1100 Garmon Drive [Estately]
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