Most hotel reviews are pretty boring — except for minor quibbles, everyone pretty much agrees. Atlanta's swanky spots are worthy of four or five stars, the mediocre joints three-ish, and on down. Then there are the folks who go above and beyond, one way or another: The weird, the passionate, the sad, the random. Thanks to Yelp, we've compiled plenty of the latter for your enjoyment.
- Steph V. from San Jose, Calif., enjoyed her stay at the Renaissance Atlanta Waverly Hotel and Convention Center near Vinings. But get the woman some moisturizer!
"What?! No lotion in the bathroom?," she writes. "Grr, my ashy ass can't handle it. haha, just kidding…ski."
- Deborah G. from Meridian, Miss., loved Decatur's Holiday Inn Express so much she's hellbent on living there! Sort of.
"I loved the design so much," she writes, "that I took a picture of the bed area so I could change my bedroom when I got home....seriously. We will be back in Atlanta at the end of April and we were ready to re-book even before we left."
- Tell us more about your island experience, Noel L. from Knoxville, Tenn. Please? (Oh, the Artmore Hotel is cool too).
"We stayed here once after our 'hellmoon' where we got stranded on an island and had to spend thousands of dollars to get off (true story) and they were particularly wonderful," he writes. "They heard our story and upgraded our room for free and gave us each a drink on the house."
- Dude, step off the Haterade. You're literally the only Yelper with a significant gripe about the Four Seasons Atlanta. And use your real name, "Customer S. from Arlington, Va."
"Tired, low grade, sub par. Do not be fooled," writes Coward. "The four seasons brand is a thing of the past. Everything here is archaic and worn out. From the plumbing to the front desk music, absolutely nothing here is worth the price."
- Then there's Adam P.'s review of the Atlanta Airport Marriott Gateway.
"Staff is great, super nice, friendly and accommodating," the Tuscon, Ariz., resident writes. "Nothing bad to say except for the fact that it is not a Four Seasons."
- Angela A. from El Cajon, Calif., isn't the only one complaining about small bathrooms at Hotel Indigo, which is situated across from the Fox Theater in Midtown. She is, however, the only one to do so using one billion rhetorical questions.
"Do you enjoy spending a large portion of your time in your hotel room?
Do you need a designated area to do your makeup/hair?
Are you claustrophobic?
Do you have an aversion to tiny (I mean TINY) bathrooms?
Do you refuse to pay extra for parking?
Do you require valet parking?
If you replied yes to a majority of these questions, you will NOT enjoy your stay at this hotel."
- Kind of creepy, Sharisma R. But kind of awesome? Peculiar props for The Highland Inn in Poncey Highland.
"The best and longest hot showers i ever had were here," she writes. "I swear it cures hangovers. Perfect place to stay after a crazy nite out."
- Loews in Midtown gets credit for spawning the creation of a Tumblr full of blurry, indecipherable celebrity photos!
"Plus we saw a couple of awesome celebrities who were also staying at the hotel!" Cassandra K. writes. "Bill Murray hung out in the lobby for a bit and then Jeff Daniels (Dumb and Dumber) also made an appearance in the lobby. After all that celebrity happening I started this: celebritybackpics.tumblr.com ;)".
- Lots of good reviews for the InterContinental Buckhead, but Stephanie Q. from NYC has the best rationale.
"Amazing hotel, I think Nene from the Real Housewives of Atlanta had her wedding here," she writes.
- Last but certainly not least, Justin M. from Shawnee, Kansas, stayed at the Marriott Residence Inn in Midtown. He also shared way too much information.
"We were only staying here one night," he writes, "but my friend got a nasty stomach flu and had to extend his stay. It was a pretty gross situation too. Our buddy barfed all over the MARTA train on the way back to the hotel after a Braves game. Dang stomach bug bit him hard and fast. i feel bad for the poor Braves fans heading on down the MARTA line. Hopefully that train full of people were at least able to switch cars at the next stop."
— By Curbed Atlanta contributor Tyler Estep