The Telegraph recently sent a reporter from its UK-based staff to Atlanta to write about his three-day visit to the city. During his stay, he was shocked by Oakland Cemetery ("I expected a formal, almost religious reverence, but Oakland is in effect a giant public park"), reliant on Uber ("pretty much a necessity in such a sprawling city") puzzled by the Goat Farm ("a collection of crumbling red-brick buildings that look like General Sherman had got hold of them") and impressed by "the best Bloody Mary of my life." It's always good to get an outsider's perspective now and again. To that end, we present a series of out-of-context quotes from Atlanta travel guides.
From SB Nation:
- "Do not call it 'Hotlanta.'"
- "... locals make money plying them with liquor and strippers and by booting their cars when they park badly. The rule is easy: don't park anywhere, ever."
- "Atlanta's traffic lights have not been synchronized for optimal traffic flow since the 1970s."
- "Gallons of turbo-plague and Turkish Blood Fever could be right under your hotel, for all you know. Sleep well."
- "It is debatable whether taxis even exist here."
- On the High Museum: "if you're into art and giant Guggenheim ripoffs"
- On Underground Atlanta: "Don't go to Underground. (What is Underground? It's nothing, don't go there. It sucks, forever and ever.)"
From "A Yankee's Guide to Atlanta":
- "Ponce de Leon Avenue can only be pronounced by a native, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation."
- "Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina."
- "If you ask anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree."
From Travel Channel's The Layover:
- On the airport: "Big, sprawling, not fun at all."
- On Buford Farmer's Market: "Makes no sense at all, in the best possible way."
- On the Clermont Lounge: "This place should be a national landmark."
- "What to skip: The once hip, now tourist-laden, Little Five Points district."
From Lonely Planet:
- On Virginia-Highland: "a historic district that has always been home to Atlanta's more bohemian side"
- On downtown Decatur: "a quaint little hipsterati commune"
- "Suburban sprawl has turned Atlanta into an almost endless city. Increased car dependence creates horrendous traffic, traffic creates smog, smog pollutes water and so on."
- "...a cosmopolitan juggernaut full of delectable restaurants, bohemian neighborhoods, trendy bars and world-class cultural attractions"
- "Bocce ball is a big deal in Atlanta."
- "Piedmont Park is among America's greatest greenspaces."
- "Atlanta's hotel scene is fabulous if you like genteel luxury."