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Scattered, Smothered, Convenient

Over the years, Atlanta's favorite cholesterol booster — Waffle House — has played host to parking-lot coitus, fisticuffs by rap-rock megastars, and even a Southern-fried wedding, but surprisingly, not one single WaHo has offered that caloric expressway that is a drive-thru window — until now! The greasy (but overtly friendly) empire has announced plans for a Stone Mountain Highway outpost that will offer a scaled-back menu and a McDonald's-style window on the side. Of course, this is the same company that promised their Centennial Olympic Park location would be something special, laughably calling it a "showcase" attraction. [Tomorrow's News Today; photo: grist.org]