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'Death with Dignity' for Glenridge Hall is Dumb as it Sounds

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Thanks to some investigation by Neighborhood Newspapers, it came to light last night that the demolition of historic Glenridge Hall in Sandy Springs is being orchestrated not by developer Ashton Woods, but by the family who owned the property for 84 years. As part of the development deal, the Glenridge Hall family office made the decision to raze the home and nine other buildings on the estate rather than repurpose, after exploring their options. The office's director, Mike Rabalais, told the newspaper, "[the owner] wants to give the home a dignified death … [to be] in control." That sentiment would make perfect sense, if developers' plans for the home included a brothel and meth lab. (Hey, 12,000 square feet of decadence would make one hell of a meth lab!) In hopes of illustrating just how incongruous the ideas of "death with dignity" and demolishing a piece of history for no good reason are, we've compiled a few haikus after the jump:

Government Failure
Sandy Springs Council
Remote governance annoys
Grow a pair, fix this

Dignity In Death, Atlanta Style
Fuqua and some Beam
Chainsaw in the moonlight glow
Let's build a Walmart

Mercedes Benz
Your CEO wants
A winter house far away
From German snowstorms

Viable Solution
Sell it to someone
Tons of cash in Sandy Springs
Even J. Bieber?

TV Career
Filming in Georgia
Downton Abbey - Sandy Springs
But with fewer Brits

But Really
Don't tear it down, please
Gorgeous, important, storied
Don't be a jerk-face

· Glenridge Hall to be demolished by owner [Neighborhood Newspapers]
· 10 Reasons Why Bulldozing Glenridge Hall would be Tragic [Curbed Atlanta]
· Recalling Good, Bad ATL Listings from 2014 — in Haikus! [Curbed Atlanta]